When I first arrived in Italy I was determined not to make language mistakes and say something embarrassing. I have learned that one can’t learn a language without making mistakes. And I have made plenty of my own. I often mix up close words and have said I wanted to go on a gray instead of a walk. Or said that I wanted to eat flowers instead of eating outside. But, here are a few of my most embarrassing:
The young single adults in my stake spent a month preparing two songs for Stake Conference. I was feeling pretty savvy that after only two months of being in Italy I could understand most of what they were saying. The young choir director asked if anyone needed to go over the songs again. Excited to use the language I raised my hand hoping to ask if we could sing the second verse again. Instead I asked, “Posso fare il second scrofa di nuovo?” Which is “Can I do the second female pig again?” (Should have used strofa not scrofa) Laugher exploded throughout the chapel and of course I had no idea why.
I was sitting on the train one day when an elderly woman approached my seat and asked me a question. She spoke very quickly and I was struggling to catch all of her words. As she finished speaking I told her I only spoke a little, little, little Italian, “Parlo solo un po po po po di Italiano.” Po means a little, but I guess when put when said more than once means poop instead. At least I got my message across. She definitely understood that I spoke only a little Italian…poop Italian in fact.
I hate ‘false friends’. The definition of ‘false friends’ is a pair of words in two languages that look or sound similar but differ in meaning. Some examples are: morbido which instead of meaning morbid means soft; noioso which instead of meaning noisy means boring; fattoria which instead of meaning factory means farm; sensibile which instead of meaning sensible means sensitive…One of the worst false friends in eccitato. You think it means excited right? Well I was writing an e-mail to an Italian male friend and said, “Sono eccitato per vederla di nuovo.” I meant to say I was excited to see him again, but my sentence actually translated perfectly into, “I am sexually excited or aroused to see you again.” No wonder the next time we hung out he brought his girlfriend along.
As I was trying to make small talk with the girlfriend I asked how old she was. My mistake arrived when instead of pronouncing both Ns I pronounced only one. “Quanto ani hai” translates perfectly instead “how many anuses do you have?” She gave me a look that I will never forget.
So here is the beginning of my mistake list. I am sure there are a lot more to come.
